December 30, 2004






I will probably not issue anything tonight.  










What music is there for anguish?


Music that allows anguish to flow, or even to convey it.




The light of this enormous catastrophe makes





see evil in me.



I don't yet know what my conclusion will be here, later.  So this may go nowhere.





Rocketing past a count of one hundred thousand horrible deaths, this week.





What could a hundred thousand

precious lives

look like?




I can't comprehend.



The worst tsunami of a lifetime



I hope.


I hope,     I hope.


With others

I talk about the coast





It shines,


on you.





I'm trying to publish-issue-send a collection

of images,


talking about love



and good things.



I am blessed.


That feels good to say.


I am blessed.








what will you do?






what will you do?





This page may survive past the emotional-memory 

of the images


of heartbreaking catastrophe.








Composing Christmas wishes to send


and not sending them.



Best wishes for the coming new year...




And was preparing to finish something


something of love


and about it.





Can I contemplate it?




Why such paradoxes?  

I am blessed


Why such contradictions?

So many die

and lose so much


How can I be so fortunate?








Light shining on me









So much light


on so much good fortune


I almost say,















This page may survive past the memory 

of such tragedy


and this may painfully feel like nonsense to me

when I read it.







What will you do?



For them?










I listen to music for comfort


Can I comfort you?


I write as though this is read by someone who has forgotten.


But are you now seeing, and feeling this tragedy?


Can I send my comfort to you,


at this moment I cannot comfort those who most need it?








Eric, do something.










Eric, finish this, and do something.








I have several CDs of Asian music here from the library


Asian, African, Indian





I play them, searching for something that relates to this tragedy.



They energize me.  


I hear beauty, energy, strength.




A beautiful people








They are not singing now.






Or are they?







I bet they are.




Songs will break out.



Songs of anguish.



Songs - if there is such a thing -  of  pain, 








and maybe,











and awe

for those who are lost.


So many of them.


So very many of them.











What will YOU do?






Tonight, you are going to get tired



Will you do something?


And finish some words too?























What music is there, for





Can't remember what I was getting at, back there.








I'm lacking the music, 


for this event.



Nothing fits.










Blessings to you.


I don't know who you are,


But I treasure your life.  I thank God for you, alive.



And I see those dying, and those left behind.





And I feel their light on me






and I die







In the morning






Have you done anything?










Swine Hall


Created: December 30, 2004   Last updated: January 11, 2005

2004 Eric Porcher